|I know I have being a little weird lately. The air without sun falls heavy, charged, electric. And I might be going crazy.
It is spring but not. The trees have no leaves. Not one. Emptiness gravitates. The sunless air feels like absence. It is the feeling you get when you are are seating next to the empty seat where someone you loved used to sit- and he is obviously not there. It is the absence you feel when you wish you could get on a time machine. Go back on time and fix something. Get to a place in your past and do it all again but better so whatever is absent, stays. Say: “Don’t go. I can be better”.
But I have my imagination. I can chose to time travel to my present and find it amazing. There is nowhere else where I would rather be. (Not sarcasm).
I decide that I can choose to see the green that is not attached to the weather or any sort of practicality. Nothing can stop me. I can see evergreen. I can see the earth alive, the bing-bang and the beginning of life, gravitational waves, the ripples in the fabric of space-time that were first anticipated by Albert Einstein a century ago. They are there, their trunks standing on the complexity of those ripples, still sober and dignified, beautifully naked, skin and bones, truth, rocks that have collected stillness all summer, waiting for this moment of dust, 100 years to this day. Albert Einstein is smiling.
Today is february 26 of 2016. It is a friday. My time travelling machine has given me this day.
Positive Thought no. 1: Joanne Newson’s concert is today. She is cool because her mouth is big and her verses are sometimes unexpectedly short. Her voice is strangely fragmented, and it is hard to believe that what she sings is actually coming out of her mouth.
Positive Thought no. 2: There are always friends to talk to about little things, little as not important in any way. To breathe the no-spring air and laugh about it with a cup of coffee. (And there is coffee).
Positive Thought no. 3: I am here, now, to witness the 2016 top fashion trend- Normcore. I an stop and look around. It is the 90’s normal plus some core-cool. My parent’s clothes are back. I can imagine their young selves taking me to school, moving fast, having it all very normal. It is honest grunge, Nirvana, a cycle, or maybe it is more like a spiral. Life will never back in the same terms. Normcore is comfy and easy and standard (it needs to look like you didn’t put much effort into it) -but tougher. It is a character trend, like a wave that is chasing you, catching up on you, making you look like (yes!), you were doing the normcore thing the whole time. And I take it, because I like the grounded bits that bring us all to an agreement, humanity, something that we are, a place where we can all stand. Everyone can connect to everyone, be honest and straightforward/ normal. Nothing is stopping them.
Positive Thought No. 4: This year is leap year. I will have number 29 in my February calendar. A whole day. All the things that could happen any day will happen on that day that has collected time from other years, the result of the rhythms in the stars, of course. The realisation of the world moving on time, that is based on “constant” stars (nerdy fact: Orion) is pretty damn amazing: That a whole day can have so many butterflies change the world.
Exceptions after exceptions that add up will bring us back to were we started. It is not the same point but it feels just as true:
The reliability of the stars had an exception.
Positive Thought No. 5: Not everything tends to chaos. Not everything grows old, or passes on. The evergreen of life is life itself, contained in infinity, movement and stillness, love.
Positive Thought No. 6: Morgan Freeman is a GPS voice.
And if the sun is out for a little bit, I will say nothing. I will just do the sun bathing thing, stop what I am doing and close my eyes without any sort of shame. Feel the injection of vitamin D like a rush of warm blood to my head.
* This is nomrcore: http://oakstreetchicago.com/normcore-what-is-it-how-is-it-impacting-high-fashion/
A friend believes that -going naked- might be the next thing after normcore. The Emperor’s New clothes (the H.C. Andersen story) came to her mind. I could understand normcore the same way I understand fashion on the naked body of the emperor, so smart. Trends need conviction –this is good. Fashion might be a kind of unaware ugliness. You jump on the conviction of something to later think –oh! Ugly! Next. And so fashion moves into the next ugly thing. Because H.C Andersen was dane, and in my generalisations, Denmark is equality and a -don’t stand out too much- attitude, normcore seems to make a lot of sense. The norm just got core, basic cool. And I take it. The spiral of human expressions is touching me softly, like the sun.
* Here you can read a little about H.C. Andersen’s book The Emperor’s new clothes: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Emperor%27s_New_Clothes
* H.C. Andersen was a top hygge person. He wrote many other brilliant books and short stories. The little Mermaid was actually written by him. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Little_Mermaid
It is a bit more tragic than the Disney version.
*And what is grunge? While everybody—including the artists themselves—has their own definition of what constitutes grunge, before grunge’s name was sullied and outdated, the movement changed the course of rock ’n’ roll, bringing to the fold tales of abuse and depression, bringing socially conscious issues to the pop culture table. http://www.pastemagazine.com/blogs/lists/2014/08/the-50-best-grunge-songs.html